Hi, mommy…
I'm your
baby. You don’t know me yet, I'm only a weeks old. You’re going to find out
about me soon, though, I promise.
Let me tell
you some things about me. My name is John, and I’ve got beautiful brown eyes
and black hair. I don’t have it yet, but I will when I'm born.
I'm going to
be your only child, and you will call me your one and only.
I'm going to
grow up without daddy mostly, but we have each other. We’ll help each other,
and love each other.
I want to be
a doctor when I grow up.
You found out
about me, Mommy! You were so exited, but you couldn’t to tell anybody. All you
do all day was smile, and life was just smile, and life was perfect. You’ve a
beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it
will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already.
Today was the
day you told daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me, and also afraid.
But… he wasn’t happy. He kind of got angry. I don’t think that you noticed, but
he did. He started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and
bills, and stuff I don’t think I understand yet. You were still happy, though,
so it was okay then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you
fall backward, and your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay.. but I was
very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That’s sound I don’t like. It
doesn’t make me feel good. It made me cry too. Then he said sorry, and he
hugged you. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I do. It wasn’t right.
You say he loves you… but why would he hurt you, Mommy? I don’t like it
Finally, you
feel me bigger, your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you are proud of me.
Now you went out with your mommy to buy new clothes for you, and you were so
happy. You sing to me too, you have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide
world. When you sing is when I'm happiest. And you talk to me, I feel safe. So
safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I'm born I will be perfect just for
you. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.
I can move my
hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to
feel me, and I giggle, you giggle too. I love you, I love you, Mommy.
Oh noo..
daddy came to see you today, I got really scared. He was acting funny and he
wasn’t talking right. He said he didn’t want you. I don’t know why, but that’s
what he said. And he hit you again. I got really angry, Mommy! When I grow up I
promise I won’t let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. Daddy is bad. I
don’t care if you think that he is a good person, I think he’s bad. And he hit
you, and he said he didn’t want us. He doesn’t like me. Why mom? Why my daddy
doesn’t like me, Mommy?
I feel you
confused about me…. Mommy, you didn’t talk to me tonight. Is everything okay?
It’s been
three days since you saw daddy. You haven’t talked to me or touched me or
anything since that, you never sing for me, hug me, touch me or smile, anymore?
Why? Don’t you still love me, Mommy?
I still love
you. I think you feel sad. The only time
I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side.
And you hugged me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. But why don’t
you do that when you’re awake, anymore?
Today you were crying, hey, mommy why you said sorry for me? Tell me!,
You don’t have any fault, Mom
I'm 21 weeks
old today, Mommy. Aren’t you proud of me? Today you take me to somewhere
mommy.. where is it? I think it's a hospital. I see a doctor here, you will see
that I will be it soon… I wanna be a doctor did I tell you that? Now what will
we are doing here, Mommy? I'm so excited
Mommy, I'm
getting scared, I feel your heart beating so fast. I don’t know what are you thinking. The doctor is
talking to you. I think something’s going wrong happen soon. I'm really really
really scared mom, you wipe me so soft now.. I feel your cry, then you say
sorry. what happen, Mommy? What? Tell me!
Mommy, please
tell me you love me. Then I will feel so safe again. I love you, Mommy
Wait, Mommy..
what are they doing??? It's really hurt me! Please make them stop! It feels
bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me, make them stop.. I'm not strong
enough! Stop that, Mommy please!
Hi,
Mommy… don’t worry I'm safe I'm in
heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it's
called an abortion.
Why??? Why,
Mommy, why? why did you do it? Do you don’t love me anymore? Why did you get
rid of me? I'm really really really sorry if I did something wrong… but why? I
just want to love you, I just want to live with you, am I wrong? Or it's about
daddy, he don’t want me, and you’re also? You’re more love him than me. I love
you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don’t you love me? What did I
do to deserve what they did to me? I want to love, Mommy! Please! It really
hurts to see you not care to me. Didn’t I love you enough? Please say you will
keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and
watch the sunrise on your face, I want grow up and be a doctor! I don’t want to
be here…. I LOVE YOU, MY MOMMY! =’)
I LOVE YOU,
MOMMY
I'm just…
One more
heart that have to stop to beating
Two more eyes
that will never see
Two more
hands that will never touch
Two more legs
that will never run
One more
mouth that will never smile…
The End…
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